FAMILIES coping with cancer face complex emotional dynamics, and public judgement often fails to consider the immense pressure on caregivers, says Lautoka Aspen Hospital clinical psychologist Inosi Kinikini.
Reflecting on instances where partners or spouses leave during a prolonged cancer battle, Mr Kinikini urged people to adopt a holistic view rather than immediately condemning those involved.
“From a psychologist perspective, we always look at things from a holistic view. We don’t only always look at the victim, but we also look at the other side as well,” he said.
Mr Kinikini said the departure of the caregiver spouse was not always an act of abandonment, but could stem from overwhelming burnout, helplessness, or high-stress household dynamics that build up over time.
“Sometimes they think that maybe leaving them would probably be a better option because being there, maybe there’s a lot of tension going on back and forth every time.”
Mr Kinikini said caregivers often support their partners for long periods without receiving any recognition or mental health assistance themselves.
“The spouses have been helping them and making sure that they get the best treatment.
“Sometimes they feel like they’re tired and it’s too much on them as well, and then they tend to leave.”
Mr Kinikini stressed the importance of understanding the motives behind human behaviour rather than reacting to surface appearances.
“Oftentimes we just look at what’s on the outside part of it, we don’t look at what’s the reason behind it – because of that, we tend to be judgemental.”
