Parents of children living with autism spectrum disorders face all sorts of challenges, but how they overcome them is unbelievably amazing.
One such person is single mum-of-two Theresa Joe who has had to raise her autistic son Theodore Valentine with a single-minded, gritty determination to ensure he lives the best life possible under the most trying of conditions.
Individuals with ASD often have problems with social communication and interaction and restricted or repetitive behaviors and interests.
They may also have different ways of learning.
It raises the issue of the amazing capabilities of parents who manage to thrive through the challenges when one of their children may demand their total attention.
Ms Joe was frank when sharing with The Fiji Times the ordeal in Theodore’s life; he’s nine and suffers from ASD and infantile spasm.
According to Ms Joe, Theodore’s journey began with infantile spasm at one, followed by signs of autism at three.
His condition involves frequent seizures at random hours of the day and night and has resulted in a number of hospital visits to date.
Theodore’s condition is rated severe on the autism spectrum, hence he requires constant attention and patience.
“He can be moving around nicely today, and then all of a sudden he just gets a fit, falls to the ground and then is off to hospital,” she says. “From a scale of one to 10, he’s more on the severe side of it.
“My daughter, who is just a few years behind him, was actually breastfed at the time, and I had to cope with taking care of them both.”
Being a single mother, Ms Joe says each day presents its share of struggles, especially given Theodore’s size and resistance to non-routine tasks.
“He’s almost as tall as I am, and trying to get him to do anything could end up in a fighting session.
“I am just lucky that I manage.”
Despite the progress made in providing care for autistic individuals, Ms Joe believes societal judgment and misconceptions continue to posed challenges.
The support from her family has been mixed. Some understand the challenges involved while others struggle to grasp them fully.
“Sometimes, people say the meanest of things, like, ‘oh, your son is cursed’.”
“It came to the point when I told myself that I needed to be strong and do this by myself.”
Ms Joe learned about Pioneer Education Fiji through the late Maree Stewart who was a close friend. She decided it was the best learning environment for Theodore.
“I took Theo to the school and asked the managing director, Melisha Chand, if I could clean the school because I couldn’t pay his fees.
“She was kind enough to allow him in the school and gave me time to look for work.
“In Theo’s first two weeks of school, he managed to pick up talking and understanding, and that was only two weeks.
“Thanks to the financial assistance of the lovely Raazia Mohammed, Theo is now a full time student at PEF.”
Despite the obstacles, Ms Joe celebrates her unique son’s milestones, no matter how small. This has become a daily ritual, reinforcing Theo’s growth and resilience.
“One thing that I have learned is to have a lot of patience, but first you must accept that your child has autism.
“One thing about autism is developmental delay, so you have to understand that they are just a little bit slower than others.”
Ms Joe says that as awareness grows, societal attitudes towards autism are slowly evolving, and she is hopeful that continued education and empathy will pave the way for a more inclusive society.
“Each year during autism awareness month, I’m encouraged by the increasing support and understanding from the community, highlighting the
progress we’ve made and the work that still lies ahead.”
Ms Joe’s advice to the public is to be kind, whether it’s autism, Down Syndrome, cerebral palsy or any other form of special needs, and don’t be too quick to ‘judge a book by its cover’.
