UNCOMPROMISING in love as she was as an activist for women’s rights, Imrana Jalal went, yet again, against tradition when she asked Ratu Sakiusa Tuisolia to “put a ring on her finger or else”.
“ I knew Tu Saki would never ask me to marry him, especially as he was conflicted about whether I would fit in culturally, so I asked him to marry me,” she said.
“In fact I gave him an ultimatum in February of 2003. I said marry me or I am walking away. True story!”
In fact, Imrana’s lessons in the intricacies of love began long before Tu Saki caught her eye.
She found out that matters of the heart had a way of testing the mettle of any well-intentioned individual, no matter how street-smart or educated.
And Imrana was confronted with this dilemma when she completed her Masters in Law and left Auckland Law School at the end of 1983 with a broken heart.
“I had fallen in love with a gorgeous Jewish New Zealander but my father, a devout Muslim, horrified at the prospect of having a Jewish son-in-law persuaded me to return and give Fiji a chance,” she shared.
“The thought of going back to my country, which I saw then as unsophisticated and backward, especially about women, was a prospect I did not welcome.
“In fact I initially enrolled for the Masters in Law program to delay going back to Fiji and to enable me to continue my relationship in NZ.”
Imrana said that the combination of distance, and two families on both sides, eventually brought the relationship to an end.
She quickly grew passionate about Fiji and about her work, despite the numerous problems she witnessed first-hand in society.
Her sense of injustice about women and racial issues angered her.
In her view, politicians had used Fiji’s racial schisms to secure power for decades, deepening the gaps in social cohesion.
Imrana eventually married Dilip Jamnadas and they had two sons together – Gibraan (now 26) and Shaquille (25).
They separated in 2000 and Imrana remarried in 2003 – this time to an indigenous Fijian, again, to the horror of both sides of the family.
Ratu Sakiusa Tuisolia, better known as Tu Saki, was a traditional Fijian chief, as was his father, who was at that time, the deputy permanent secretary in the Prime Minister’s Office.
After their marriage, he joined Airports Fiji Limited in Nadi as its chief executive officer.
“ I knew Tu Saki would never ask me to marry him, especially as he was conflicted about whether I would fit in culturally, so I asked him to marry me. In fact I gave him an ultimatum in February of 2003. I said marry me or I am walking away.
“True story!”
On the day of the wedding Tu Saki requested his father’s traditional blessing by presenting him with yaqona and a tabua.
His father openly wept and begged him not to marry Imrana saying, “Indians are so different from us. They don’t understand us. It will always be that way. You have responsibilities as a chief to marry someone who understands your duties”.
Despite all the progress Fiji had made as a nation, ethnic differences remained ingrained in both the indigenous and non-indigenous sides of the racial divide.
“Neither of our parents attended the wedding although my mother attended the brief ceremony with my aunt Sofia Jannif, but not the reception, out of deference to my father.
“Curiously though, my father, Abdul Jalal, who is well known for his Indian cooking, cooked the goat curry and palau and sent it to the reception.”
Some months later, Imrana was formally accepted into Tu Saki’s village by his mataqali, vanua, and traditional alliances.
“Out of deference to them, I promptly got pregnant and gave birth to the longed-for son of the eldest son!
“It took the birth of our son for my father to thaw towards Tu Saki.
“When Roma was born I had to go and stay in Tu Saki’s village and to undergo the bogiva ceremonies.
“For four days and nights I did not carry Roma except to breastfeed him, as the women of several tribes had to carry him for the four days and four nights, his body could not touch the ground.
“It was a nightmare for me but I endured it for Tu Saki’s sake and to gain acceptance.
“I have no lingering regrets about it now.
“One thing I know about indigenous Fijians, you give a little and you get it returned a hundredfold.
“It is a lesson that many in my ethnic group, especially some political leaders, have not yet learned.”
Tu Saki’s indigenous role as a chief, and his background as a Fiji and United Kingdom trained economist, combined with Imrana’s feminist activist background and academic and career achievements made their marriage the “talk of the town.”
“When we got hitched, several websites discussed our marriage in great detail – even in the Fijian diaspora and as far afield as soldiers on duty in the Middle East.”
Imrana said that at that time, Portia Richmond a researcher based at the University of Hawaii was writing her PhD thesis on race and marriage in Fiji.
“She referred to us in her thesis.
“She said that, several interviewees from both major races had said that our marriage was a “political marriage”.
“I suppose what they meant was for political ambition.
“I suspect that the accusation was more directed at me, the implication being that I had deliberately married Tu Saki and that this would give me access to political power.
“These comments were a source of great amusement to me, not only because it assumes that I am, in my own right, without influence, but also because anyone who knows me or my burly, muscular, handsome rugby playing husband would know that the reason I married him was because I was madly in love with him and because he is intelligent, honest, and confident and has never viewed my career and travel as a threat. He is an alpha male for sure and very much his own man. That’s why it works”
Both families fully accepted Imrana and Tu Saki eventually, her obstinate father after their son, Roma, was born.
Imrana said her father is “extremely fond of Tu Saki now.”
“They write emails to each other frequently, and dad has taught Tu Saki how to cook Indian curries.”
Imrana says that she and Tu Saki have very similar ideological views. He cooks and cleans and is comfortable in these roles.
“Our marriage is not an easy one, straddling as we do, both our polarized races and cultures, but because of this I have learnt so much about what it will take to live together in peace, as one people”.
