Lonely hearts and internet creeps rejoice! “Facebook stalking” just got a heck of a lot easier.
The new “graph search” function announced by Mark Zuckerberg will turn Facebook into the world’s largest matchmaking site. Think of it as eHarmony’s loaded, arrogant cousin.
Facebook users will now be able to sift efficiently through the profiles of other members, finding people with common interests and, well, coveting them. Clever lovelorns could even narrow their searches to the pages of “friends of friends who are single”.
Any public information on your Facebook profile will be searchable.
That could include the lame pages you liked back in high school for a cheap giggle, photos you’re tagged in, or even your status updates, depending on how well you navigate the site’s ever changing privacy settings.
Let’s give it a try, shall we?
Are you an unattached female who loves not having swine flu, laughs randomly when remembering something, enjoys immature sexual innuendos and hates Rainbow Road in Mario Kart? I’d like to meet you — we have so much in common!
Now, if I were a lonely lover-to-be, the next step would be to send you a creepy, faux-suave private message.
“Hey there, scrumptious. You don’t know me, but I’d like to know you. I’m a sexy friend of Sarah’s. I see that you like ice cream and long walks on the beach.
“Me too! We should totally hang out sometime.”
Men really do write stuff like that. Some of us even expect it to work.
So ladies, either seal your Facebook profile away from prying eyes or get ready to deal with such irresistible male charm much more often.
Few would have fingered Mark Zuckerberg as a future matchmaker extraordinaire in his younger days, but that’s what he has become.
Actual dating sites cannot match the accessibility or reach of Facebook.
Specialist matchmakers usually require you to fill out long, tedious surveys about your interests, as well as your preferences when it comes to the opposite sex.
Facebook doesn’t need to do that. It already knows pretty much everything about you, and a billion or so other people.
The company’s shares dropped sharply in response to today’s announcement, but this business idea may work in the long run.
If Facebook does eventually tank as a social media site, like MySpace and Bebo before it, Zuckerberg should consider converting it into a proper dating service.
He’d certainly have a big head-start over the competition.
Come to think of it, maybe young Mark is a greater visionary than any of us realise. He has seen the future, and the plan is already in motion.
