Like a lot of millennials, I’m on my phone a lot, mindlessly scrolling social media and diving down internet rabbit holes. I worry about how it impacts my wellbeing. But, as a mum, I worry even more about how my phone use is affecting my toddler.
Problematic mobile phone use (PMPU), also referred to as smartphone addiction, is a thing. I know I’m not alone in a desire to use my phone less, but I’m not here to make parents feel guilty either.
Mums especially have enough to feel bad about, evidenced by the backlash cartoonist Michael Leunig received for his drawing of a mother reading her phone as she pushed an empty pram while an infant lay on the ground behind her.
I asked three professionals including a baby brain researcher, digital literacy expert, and breastfeeding specialist for their take on using smartphones around young children, and how worried I need to be.
‘A challenge they will face throughout their lives’
Jordy Kaufman, associate professor of psychology and director of Swinburne University’s Babylab
When it comes to how parents’ phone use impacts their young children, “long story short, we don’t know much,” says Dr Kaufman, who researches the intersection of child development and technology.
While there have been several quality, but small, studies on the topic, such as how parents’ tech use interrupts child language development, Dr Kaufman says the evidence is far from conclusive.
“(That study) just showed children were less likely to learn a word when that word learning scenario was interrupted by a device,” he says.
“But that’s not the same thing as saying children aren’t learning to speak well when parents are on phones, or that they didn’t learn that same word shortly after.”
Dr Kaufman says other research has suggested smartphone use reduces a parent’s responsiveness to their child.
“In some ways it seems obvious that it would. If you stare at your child and nothing else, you are going to notice things more,” he says.
“(But) this isn’t the first time people have tried to tend to other things than their surroundings. When I lived in London before smartphones you went onto the tube and basically everyone had a newspaper in front of their face.”
So how should we think about the risks? Dr Kaufman says if our phone use is a problem for us, it’s probably a problem for our kids, too.
“If there is something we are doing on our device which we know is not healthy for ourselves, then it’s probably not a good idea to do that around the kids either,” he says.
“Whether or not they can see what we are doing, if we are getting overly absorbed in something — like a mindless game — that is taking our time away from other things that are important.”
Dr Kaufman says on the flip side, we could argue our phone usage is preparing our children for the real world.
“They may find it harder to get your attention, but this is a challenge they will face for the rest of their lives,” he says.
‘Your child is watching’
Joanne Orlando, digital literacy expert at Western Sydney University
Dr Orlando is a leading expert in the field of children and technology. Just because “our world centres around technology”, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be modelling healthy use of it, she explains.
“If you are always on your phone, always have your phone in your back pocket, every time you stop at red light you pull out your phone — your child is watching every move you make, and they learn from it.”
Frequent phone use also means less attention for our kids, she says. For me, scrolling social media is a much-needed mind-numbing break at times. But mostly I’m not even aware I’m doing it — and that is the kind of use I’d like to cutback.
Dr Orlando recommends taking small steps to kerb such habits, while acknowledging there will be times devices are needed while our kids are present.
“A lot of us pick up our phone when we are stressed, bored, lonely, awkward. We pull it out on average every 12 minutes if not seriously involved in another activity,” she says.
Dr Orlando also recommends explaining to children why we are using a device.
“If you do have an important call, just let them know, ‘That was from my boss, I had to take that’.
“Just so they have an understanding of what you are doing.”
‘It doesn’t have to be romantic the whole time’
Lisa Amir, breastfeeding specialist from La Trobe University
If I spend five hours a day breastfeeding (a conservative estimate!) that equates to roughly 1,800 hours a year. It’s time I often use to multitask — with my phone.
While not well researched, there was a 2021 study with a small number of participants that found mothers’ gaze toward their infants decreased when breastfeeding while using the smartphone, compared to faceto-face interaction.
As a new mum I’d heard staring into my baby’s eyes while breastfeeding helped create a bond. While that’s nice in theory, my son’s eyes were mostly shut and he couldn’t see past my breast anyway.
Dr Amir says it’s an impractical expectation, especially because when young babies are latched correctly “they aren’t actually able to look up” into mum’s eyes. “Common sense tells you mothers don’t just sit there gazing at their baby,” she says.
“I had two babies in the ‘80s in summer and spent a lot of that time on the couch watching tennis on the TV.”
She says rather than worrying about a staring contest, it’s probably more important to be thoughtful about what activity I’m modelling. For me, perhaps this means mixing up my phone use with book reading during feeds, for example.
“I also think about the mothers who are visually impaired. You aren’t going to say they can’t bond with their baby,” Dr Amir says.
“The baby is eating. It doesn’t have to be romantic time the whole time.”
•KELLIE SCOTT is a digital journalist based at the ABC Brisbane office. The views expressed in this article belong to her and do not necessarily reflect the views of this newspaper.
