His life has been a long and winding road marked by struggles and triumphs.
Whilst growing up, he always found it hard to fit in, thus socialising was his challenge and this left him isolated and misunderstood.
The discomfort that he had when around other people often resulted in him getting frustrated and angry. He did not know how to control his annoyance.
Because of his inner turmoil, it became difficult for him to form meaningful connections.
Seeking help was a decision that took him years to make as he was hesitant and also fearful of opening up about his issues.
But eventually, he found himself in the Empower Pacific office in Suva, facing a counsellor with the hope of finding some relief from the storm he faced inside his mind.
This is the story of a 21-year-old man, whom we shall refer to as client, as revealed to the organisation in his own words.
His mother called the NGO’s 24/7 toll-free counselling helpline 5626, which was supported by the New Zealand’s ministry of foreign affairs & trade. She made arrangements for him to be supported.
The helpline operator referred the case to the Suva branch counsellor Camari Tubunawasa who then contacted the client’s mother and later engaged the client.
Ms Tubunawasa said she had six counselling sessions with the client and his case file was left open to enable him to visit her whenever he felt like or wanted to confide in someone when facing any difficulties in his life.
“After the counselling sessions, he has learned to control his anger by diverting his mind and doing something positive,” she said.
“He has stopped his bad habits but still visits his friends and goes to the gym. He constantly goes to church now, unlike before.
Ms Tubunawasa said the client was always well dressed, very humble, respectful and he attentively interacted well during the counselling sessions.
The client said the first few counselling sessions were tough and he was reluctant and defensive to delve into his feelings.
“But my counsellor was patient and understanding, guiding me gently through the process,” he said.
“Counselling became a lifeline. Through therapy, I started to unpack the layers of my anger and social anxiety.
“I learned that my anger often stemmed from deeper insecurities and unresolved pain from my past.
“We worked on positive coping mechanisms, focusing on mindfulness and breathing techniques to manage my emotions. It wasn’t a quick fix but a gradual process of self-discovery and healing.”
The client said that along with counselling, he also went for socialising and anger management classes, which were a new kind of challenge for him.
He said socialising felt like navigating a minefield but with the guidance of skilled therapists and the support of his peers, he began to see improvements.
He added that anger management was another critical aspect of his journey, adding that it was empowering to gain control over an emotion that had once controlled him.
“There were setbacks of course, times when I felt like giving up when the progress seemed too slow.
“Socialising remained difficult and there were moments when my anger got the better of me. But each time I stumbled, I picked myself up and kept going.’
“My support network – counsellors, friends from my classes and family – were instrumental in keeping me on track.”
The client said the skills that he learned gradually began to take root and he found himself more at ease in social situations and being able to engage in conversations without the constant fear of being judged.
“I made friends, genuine connections that I had always yearned for but never knew how to achieve.
“The techniques I practiced in anger management became second nature, helping me navigate conflicts with calm and composure.
“One of the most significant breakthroughs came when I started to share my story with others. Opening up about my struggles with socialising, counselling and anger management was liberating.
“It allowed me to connect with people at a deeper level and offer support to those going through similar experiences.
“I found that my journey could inspire others, giving them hope that change is possible.
“Today, I’m in a much better place. Socialising is still a challenge but it’s no longer an insurmountable one.”
The client said his anger, which was once a source of shame, was something that he could manage with confidence and clarity now.
“Counselling continues to be a crucial part of my life, providing me with the tools and insights to keep growing.
“My path has not been easy but every step has been worth it. I have learned that healing is a continuous process, one that requires patience, perseverance and self-compassion.
“And most importantly, I have learned that I am not alone.”
The client said that by sharing his story, he hopes that he can offer a glimmer of hope to anyone who feels lost, reminding them that there is always a way forward.
- AVINESH GOPAL is Empower Pacific’s media and communications officer based in Lautoka. The views expressed in this article belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of this newspaper.
