PICTURE this. You don’t have a place to stay, a bed to sleep on, warm clothes to weather the cold and no food to eat.
You battle emotional hardships with the hope of coping through these issues, and resort to crystal methamphetamine (ice) or(speed) to help get through each day.
And on top of that – you’re living in a different country all by yourself.
This used to be the dark reality Kalesi Volatabu went through
In an interview with The Sunday Times, she shared how she overcame emotional hardships and battled her addiction with crystal meth.
However, before this chapter unravelled, Kalesi lived an ordinary life with her family at their Suva home.
Kalesi hails from Tailevu with maternal links to Kadavu.
Growing up, her dream was to become a lawyer, to fight and champion justice in the country.
“That was my dream at an early age,” she said.
The eldest of three siblings, she attended Annesley Methodist Infant School, Suva Methodist Primary School and Dudley Intermediate before she moved to the Land Down Under.
In her teen years, she got on a flight and flew out of the country to begin a new chapter.
Kalesi said the main reason she moved to Australia was due to the upheaval caused by the 1987 coup
“In 1987 my parents decided that I was to go to Australia, and I was excited,” she said.
“I was so happy, I was telling all my friends that I was getting on an aeroplane.
Before that the only time she ever saw Sydney, Australia was when she watched movies.
“So, in 1987 they decided I was going on a plane…as a young child being put on a plane to go to a foreign country…that was quite a life changing experience.
“As a child especially, nothing prepares you for that.”
Kalesi was told she would stay with her extended family.
“I didn’t even know how they were related to me and as a child you don’t question or ask that.
“When your parents tell you to go …….you just go.”
And that she did – moving to a whole new country at the age of 13, and she was excited about this rare opportunity.
“When I first arrived in Sydney, they (relatives) rolled out the red carpet, took me sightseeing and you know all the novelty of going to different places and you’re going to see family.”
A few weeks into this period, Kalesi said she started to experience an unpleasant time. She didn’t even know her visa status and passport had expired.
Like any other child, Kalesi missed and longed for her family.
“For weeks I was just missing my family, my friends and my mum.”
“I rang mum and asked if I could return home and she said no,” Kalesi said.
Confusion and anxiety filled her mind.
“Why didn’t she (mother) want me? Why didn’t she want me to come home?
“I literally felt like I had become an orphan…deep down I felt like I didn’t have parents.”
What was supposed to be a trip of opportunity had turned into hardship for Kalesi. But it was just the beginning.
Kalesi like many others who survive on the street, found comfort where many would least expect it.
She also tried finding help from other avenues – such as a nearby church.
“I remember vividly there was a church near the suburb where I was living, and it was a Fijian church.”
Growing up Kalesi said she recalled how Fijian churches were places where people could feel welcome. However, she encountered a different experience from certain members who looked and judged her presence in the church space.
She decided to leave the church and find solitude elsewhere – the streets of Sydney.
“That was a different battle on its own.”
And so, as a young teenage girl, Kalesi’s main priority at the time was finding a roof to sleep.
Imagine not being able to return home and not knowing your visa in Australia had expired.
“I had so much hurt, pain and sadness and no home to sleep in,” she said.
“When your parents tell you they don’t want you and you’re in a foreign country… what do you do?
“That just added to my mental health which was really horrific as I look back at it now.”
This was when she began relying on alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism.
“I needed to mask the pain I was going through whether it was through alcohol or drugs.
“Alcohol and marijuana did nothing and so crystal meth (speed) was the one I went for because I needed to numb all the critics, all the insults… and emotional violence I was going through.”
So, during this dark phase of hurt and trauma, methamphetamine helped her like a warm blanket of peace and happiness.
“You go through this cave because you’re not able to think straight and make the right decisions.
This was her short escape from reality.
Kalesi said staying on the drugs allowed her to shut out the voices, not feel rejected and abandoned.
Yet it did nothing to help her. It tortured her even more.
“I was abused physically, raped twice and it was just a downward spiral for me.
“I relied on this (crystal methamphetamine) daily so I could shut the voices and numb the pain.
“In my head, I was telling myself I would be okay, but it was actually killing me in the end.”
Kalesi said her battle with drugs went on for three years and reached a stage where she started having suicidal thoughts.
She also saw the effects of the addiction through those she knew.
One would’ve thought there would be no point of return for Kalesi.
However, through the assistance of someone she knew, she “came out victorious”.
Despite being taken to Australian Immigration for her visa status she managed to change things for herself and secured permanent residency through a loved one’s help.
Then she became involved in rehabilitation spaces to help those who fought similar battles and social issues.
A major drive behind her comeback were her two sons Bradley and Michael.
And today she is the founder of Drug Free World Fiji and involved herself in raising awareness and sharing her personal experiences.
One of these contributions include being involved in the recent launch of Fiji’s first ever National Counter Narcotics Strategy 2023-2028 in June.
One cannot truly offer advice on a situation unless they’ve lived through the said experience, and this rings true for Kalesi.
Her story of overcoming emotional hardships, homelessness and drug addiction is a powerful tale. It speaks volume of the strength of the human heart when it is determined to change.
Kalesi hopes her survival story could be used as a source of inspiration.
“Start small, you can educate yourself first about drugs and what it does to a person. This can start from your own home, church, village and community because everyone has a role to play.”
“To be able to do something, it needs to be people-driven, people-centred and people-owned.”
“We need to remove the stigma because it stops people from reaching out.”
