I ENTERED the world of online media 9 years ago when I first set up a blog titled, “The Journal of a Spiritual Wonderer,” (not wanderer!). It wasn’t quite social media, more of an attempt at publishing my own to post my reflections, ramblings and later, articles, along with the odd attempt at poetry. It was mostly one way traffic; with the odd comment by the odd (or even) reader.
Then I took the plunge and opened a Facebook page; to reach out to old school friends and connect with family members no longer in Fiji.
I was also curious about this “new” (well new for me) thing called social media, having missed the whole MySpace, Hi5 and Bebo phenomena.
As an adventurer of sorts, Facebook was also a way to journal my new experiences and share some of these experiences with whosoever might find them interesting.
Last weekend, I went to accept some new friend requests, I found that I had reached a limit for personal Facebook page-holders. I had 5000 friends on Facebook.
“5000? Really?” I thought to myself. “How did that happen?”
Then the significance of my social media activity dawned on me.
As a person involved what is, in a secular environment, labelled spirituality and pastoral care as well social activism (the more familiar will call theological, pastoral and prophetic ministry), I have often used Facebook as a form of outreach (ministry) and pastoral counselling (through Facebook chat). I also took an open friendship approach – accepting everyone who asked be my friend. After all, one of the Methodist Church’s mottos, which dates back to the time of our founder John Wesley, is ‘Friends of all, enemies of none’.
Yet while I had reached the 5000 limit, I was conscious that most of these Facebook friends were not interacting with me. I then decided I would begin to go through my “Friends” list and reduce the number. By the end of the weekend, I had reduced my Facebook friends to just under 4000.
But just how friendly are your Facebook friends?
Being an “old-school” media person (I still prefer radio as the best form of media), and not being social media savvy as the next generation, known as Millennials (that is perhaps a topic for a future article), I decided to read up a little more.
In an article by Amit Chowdhry, who writes for Forbes Online, the average Facebook user may have hundreds or thousands of friends on Facebook, but only a small number of those friends can be counted on during tough times. This is according to a study by Oxford University psychology professor Robin Dunbar. Dunbar is also known for coming up with Dunbar’s number, which theorizes that people can maintain only about 150 stable relationships.
Dunbar studied the results from 3375 Facebook users between the ages of 18 and 65 in the UK. These users had an average of about 150 friends, of which 4.1 were dependable and 13.6 expressed sympathy during an “emotional crisis.” You will notice that these numbers align closely with Dunbar’s number theory.
“In this study, the sizes of the two inner friendship circles did not differ from those previously identified in offline samples,” said Dunbar in his research. “Respondents who had unusually large networks did not increase the numbers of close friendships they had, but rather added more loosely defined acquaintances into their friendship circle.”
Younger users are likely to have more Facebook friends, but older users tend to have more friends in real life. That is because social media encourages “promiscuous ‘friending’ of individuals who often have very tenuous links.”
Even though social media provides significant communication opportunities, time is a constraint that limits face-to-face interactions. And the lack of face-to-face interactions makes it difficult to invest in a relationship for maintaining an essential level of “emotional intensity.” Even in online environments, focus can be very limited due to the lack of time.
But, as I found, there is more than one way to connect with someone you wish to hear or whose posts you may wish to read on Facebook.
In September 2011 Facebook launched the ability for people to “Subscribe” to public posts from other Facebook users.
This “subscribe” functionality, completely changed Facebook’s purpose and focus. Before “subscribe”, the only way to connect to people was (1) to become “Friends” with them (and expose all your personal info to them), or (2) spend hours putting everyone in lists and then excluding certain lists.
Scott Ayres, co-author of “Facebook All-In-One for Dummies, writes, “I know a lot of people who quickly maxed out their 5000 friend limit — instantly barring anyone else on FB from interacting with them. But by allowing people to subscribe to updates, Facebook quickly stole eyes from Twitter and G+ (GooglePlus).”
“Instead of having to answer 2000+ friend requests, I could simply allow people to subscribe to my public updates and then keep my personal information, pics of my kids, etc. private. And I could limit the people I “friend” to the people I’ve actually met in person and know — or the people I’ve known online for a long time and trust.”
After a year of allowing people to subscribe to profiles, Facebook has now changed the terms “Subscribe/Subscribers” to “Follow/Followers”.
While the change is a subtle one and doesn’t change any functionality, Ayres thinks it is a significant mental shift for users.
“When you subscribe to something, you’re giving that site, app, business, etc. permission to push content to you. For example, if you subscribe to our blog you’re telling us you want emails from us. In a way, this means that in a “subscription” dynamic, the one in control of the relationship is the one being subscribed to.
“Whereas when you follow something or someone, it’s up to the follower to control the interaction and delivery of the content. Twitter for example has always called it Followers. But if I want to see the content of someone I follow I have to go seek it out, it doesn’t drop into my lap. I’m in control, not the person I follow.”
After learning about the Subscribe or Follow function, I concur with Avery who rates the feature highly, “as it has allowed me to let others follow my public rants while still keeping my friends and family semi-protected.
A few side notes…
Did you know:
? when someone makes a friend request of you, they automatically become a follower of your public updates
? when you un-friend someone, they still stay connected as a follower
? so you do not even answer friend requests because the person is now simply Subscribing..err.. Following you
“Simplicity, serenity, spontaneity”
* Reverend James Bhagwan is an ordained Methodist minister and a citizen journalist. The opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Methodist Church in Fiji or this newspaper.
