MANY siblings experience up and down relationships in their younger years, especially in their teens.
But as blood brothers and sisters exit the home they once grew up in and evolve into adults, and form families of their own, they begin to see each other as equals and intimate friends.
Some researchers have found that a warm bond between siblings early in adult life results in “greater resilience” at old age, with less “loneliness, anxiety and depression”.
That perhaps explains the life of three siblings in the village of Tukavesi, sandwiched in Buca Bay between the districts of Tunuloa and Cakaudrove
Aseri Tavuna Vakabua is 92. He lives with his younger widowed sister, Miriama Maiwaidranu Vakabua, who is 88.
Their younger sister Vika Vakabua, 84, lives a few houses away, closer to the beach, with her daughter. But Vika’s heart is always with her elder siblings.
The trio believe their family and religious upbringing, underpinned by the Christian message of love and kindness, is the glue that has bound them firmly together for generations.
In a world where resentfulness and envy often bring wedges between family members, the story of the Vakabua siblings is nothing short of inspiring.
“We live together. It’s a challenge at times because of our age and individual personalities but we must take care of each other; we are siblings” Miriama said.
The octogenarian makes sure Aseri, who has been frail and sickly lately, eats the right food at the right time and stays healthy.
“I am the one who is always with him, so seeing him in pain or grow sick worries me. Just last week he was unwell. I had to give him herbal medicine to make sure he is okay.”
Herbal medicine is plentiful in the forest beyond the village of Tukavesi and Miriama doesn’t have any difficulty accessing the green concoction. In fact, she believes in it more than she believes in modern medicine.
“There’s this medicine that I gave him once when he (Aseri) got sick and was going to have surgery,” she said.
“A lady told me to prepare the leaves of losilosi, wavoti, wasasalai and kaile. ”
“She said he should never have surgery. That cured him and I give him those herbs when he has stomach issues. He’s 92 now and he’s still alive.”
Vika cooks and delivers food at her siblings’ house every day, seven days a week and every day of the year.
She doesn’t feel tired but deeply obliged, knowing that families serve one another and share life’s joys and sorrows together.
“I don’t have a clock or watch at home, so as soon as my dish is ready, I take food to them straight away. I ask the Lord every day to give me the strength to continue my job and help feed my elder siblings.
“I feel it is my job to serve them and respect them as they are older than me and I will do my best to help them.”
On the day The Sunday Times visited Vika, she was getting ready to serve them rice and fried eggplant for lunch in her simple kitchen.
“I give them only the best and prepare food using the best cooking method. So they eat a lot of boiled stuff but today I’ve decided to give them fried baigani for a change.”
“It would be nice to give them tavioka but as you can see, there are no men in my house so I eat rice a lot. That’s what I can afford and that’s what I give Aseri and Di Kata (Miriama)”
In her younger years, Vika would fish in the sea to feed the family but age has caught up with her, forcing her to resort to garden foods only.
“I grew up in a family where mum and dad taught us to till the land and eat healthy foods from the sweat of our brow,” Vika said.
“We hardly ate food sold in the village shop but lived largely on fresh fruits, vegetables and root crops. That easily became a lifestyle for me so I’m basically a vegetarian now and I know the food I eat has kept me alive for so long.”
Aseri believes longevity is a luxury only a few get to enjoy because of poor lifestyle choices that people make.
“I am 92 years old. I have lived long because I made good decisions. I never liked drinking grog and hardly smoked,” Aseri said.
“So my advice to those who live in towns, cities and young people, is to abstain from anything that will bring you sickness and ill health, just stay away from them. Look after yourself, eat healthy, do not stress and sleep well.”
“Whatever you put in your mouth, will determine your health status. The only meat I eat is fish. Try and stay away from food sold in shops and supermarket shelves.”
For Miriama, apart from her emphasis on heathy lifestyle, she also believes her spirituality has given her longevity.
“I continue to read my Bible although I do not have any glasses. Praying and reading the word of God gives me strength and focused. It makes me happy and has certainly given me a long life.”
While Miriama prays for a good and happy life to her and Aseri, she believes she also has to pray for Vika.
“My brother and I are lucky to have a younger sister who is kind and loving. She gets us food every single day and that is a big commitment to make, especially when you are 84.”
“So I don’t only pray for good health, I pray for her too, for the good things she does without complaining.”
The Vakabua siblings demonstrate that family is the main source of influences on someone’sd values and character traits. Also, sibkings who are brought up in a loving family and caring environment get to express love to each other better and care for each other through thick and thin.
The relationships that siblings get to share can be complicated and varied, and can change as they journey through life. But if they are well grounded on the universal values of love, respect, affection, undertanding, kindness, trust and empathy, the journey of life could be filled with unimaginable blessings.
