OPINION | Fifty reasons: Why strengthening families may reduce gender-based violence, abuse of children and older persons, drugs and substances and suicides

The abuse of children has dominated the media this week.

It’s appalling and shameful for us all.

The recent suicides and the chain of violence, murders and reports of gender based violence, child abuse and the scourge of drugs and substance abuse of the first 25 years of the 21stC, have made very clear statements and raised questions; for the families, communities and the whole nation.

I am sharing my thoughts, hope you can add to this, discuss and share your thoughts. This is just an exercise for us to think and find answers for ourselves individually and collectively.

For the families

1.  That all is not well at the family level. Particularly the state of mental health and social health.
2.  That the parenting of children needs to take new realities into account like the parents spending longer hours at work trying to meet their employers’ targets, their unproductive social pursuits and thus neglecting their children.
3.  That children are lonely and isolated even within families and best of company.
4.  That children need their own family members to resolve their personal problems.
5.  Parenting is an art that needs nurturing and the need for greater family/parents involvement in education.
6.  Does it not say that there may be hidden family violence that needs to be addressed?
7.  Does it not give us the lead that there are hidden and deep seated family social ills that need addressing through family conferencing and village communities?
8.  Are they not saying that the children are being minded by TV, neighbours and others because both parents have to work to meet the demands of the rising cost of living?
9.  Are they not saying that the parents are no longer their friends or someone they can trust?
10.  Are they not saying that we need to work towards more intra family relations, rather than listen to current stories in “family silos” and work on future stories which should include the extended family networks?
11.  Are they not saying that family needs strengthening and nurturing and that all of us in families need to help our neighbours and friends?
12.  That having a small family was the mistake of the 20th century as a child is deprived of sibling support and family love that existed within the traditional networks.
13.  Is there a clear message for us to promote the nurturing of the families and also promote family values vigorously?
14.  Does it not say that we are failing our children as fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers?
15.  Does it not say that we need to do more things together as families like eating, playing and learning?
16. Does it not say that fathers need to stand up and take up the family leadership?
17. Is it not alerting us to the fact that parents are losing their moral high ground?
18.  Are they not saying that suicide is not about policing and medicine but is more a major social and family issue that needs social services and family level actions?
19.  Is there not a clear message that children and family matters and that there should be a generous budgetary allocation for strengthening the family by setting up a statutory body called The National Family Commission?

Education

1.  That our school system needs reviewing and revamping with a view of greater parental involvement and engagement.
2.  That attitude and behaviors for children needs to be questioned and addressed.
3.  That peer pressure and bullying are rife in a student’s learning life.
4.  Are they not saying that their schools, their teachers and family are failing them?
5.  That our religious leaders must be more concerned about children and parenting.
6.  That the yesteryears concept if a child being “the child of the whole village” has fallen apart.
7. That the influence of the media has a very negative impact on child minding.
8.  That free availability of the weed killers need to be reviewed urgently.
9.  That society as whole is failing child care.
10.  That even after so much freebees and opportunities in education children are not happy.
11.  Are they not saying that the students, teachers and others in psychology and social work education need to make learning more reality based?
12. That even after the pouring in of millions of dollars in government, local and international donor grants, all is not well in education.

Civil society organisations

1. The CSOs and families need to get out of their comfort zones to tackle the real life situations.
2.  Questions the effectiveness of the many top level committees, councils and institutions on children, suicide, social work and services.
3. Are we thinking and acting right at school management level?
4. Are they not saying that all these songs, dances and music to “make us happy” are of no value?
5. Are they not saying that the CSOs need to reach out to make the difference?
6.  Does it not say that all social services, religious and community organisations need to review their activities and programs?
7.  Are they not saying that poverty and low income families need more than just money… that is a more holistic development.
8.  Are they not saying that those practicing “roti parcel” “social worker” approach are no longer relevant for this era?
9.  Are we not being reminded of the fact that many CSO leaders have been saying over the decades that violence in our homes are just the tip of the iceberg which are now being manifested in the suicides, murder/suicides and abuse of the elderly.
10.  Are we not getting the message that religious organisations need to train their priests, imams and pundits to tackle social ills?

National social and economic issue

1.  Is it not a national social and economic indicator for a need for more emphasis on social development for overall family wellness?
2.  Does it not say that we as a nation need a national social cohesion?
3.  Is it not a national social issues and the children’s cry for help and the need for a national Policy Framework for Families and Children’s development?
4. Are we not getting the message that increase in suicides, rapes, murders and all forms of violence reflects the state of people’s mental health and needs just as much attention as chasing the tourism dollars?
5.  Isn’t there a clear message that our national budget strategies need rethinking?
6. Do we not need to rethink our national priorities like investing in the training of more social workers and social specialists then making more remand centres?
7. Does it not tell us that we are failing the people and that more needs be done to invest more in people’s development?
8.  Does it not tell us that if the social issues and social cohesion are not addressed it will negate the economic growth?
9.  Is it not time for us to set up and National Social Watch and have monthly statements just like the RBF is giving us the state of the economy profiles?

•  Mohammed Hassan Khan is the VP & executive director (Voluntary) of the Asia Pacific Forum on Families International, member of the National Committee on the Prevention of Suicides, National Council on Older Persons and convenor of the Fiji Pacific Network on Rights of Older Persons held on September 30, 2025. The views expressed in this article are his and do not reflect those of this newspaper.