IT seems our men are in crisis and have called for a Crisis Centre set up, that is according to the men who talked to The Fiji Times when asked if there was a need for a men’s crisis centre.
According to most men who contributed their views, men are in crisis because there is too much focus on women’s issues, they cannot talk out loud of the verbal and physical abuse at the hands of their spouse and they do not have a place where they could talk to somebody.
Ajendra Singh, 48, a senior manager, said he acknowledged and realised that women had it worse than men but the men were also suffering.
“I personally think there is so much focus on women that men are being neglected. Sometimes the mental torture is greater than the physical torture and as a result men end up getting violent. Maybe a men’s crisis centre could help in decreasing violence against women,” he said.
Jason Brown, 43, said it was not easy for men to open up to another man about his marital or personal problems.
“You will not catch me talking about what my partner said to me when I was late to home or the stress I feel when I have financial issues. If there was a men’s crisis centre maybe they could help with this situation,” he said.
Sakiasi Mocevakaca, 55, retired said he felt that a men’s crisis centre could help reduce suicide among men.
“I am sure a lot of this suicides by men and murders because of infidelity and financial woes could be prevented if such a place was there,” he said.
Atunaisa Tabua, 20, a student said women could drive men to do things they did not want to.
“In my view, there are women who can drive men up the wall. It’s the way they talk. They disrespect the men all the time. What is a man to do? I think there is a need for such a centre for counselling purposes and maybe it can also help reduce violence against women,” he said.
Rehman Khan, who works in the legal fraternity said maybe men needed a place to get counselling.
“Most men just need a place to let go and alcohol is never the solution. Maybe a men’s crisis centre could do some good in helping improve the society.”
When it comes to gender equality, women’s human rights and the elimination of violence against women, understanding the problem is the first step.
Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre co-ordinator Shamima Ali said they welcomed the idea of a men’s crisis centre.
“We will establish a Men’s Crisis Centre in Fiji, when Fijian men hold only 14 per cent of seats in parliament. When Fiji men do 74 per cent of domestic work in the home and spend 54.2 hours per week on unpaid employment compared to only 32.3 hours for women,” Ms Ali said.
“When over 50 per cent of Fiji men in relationships do not have a freedom of association and when between 35 per cent and 43 per cent of these men are not able to have the freedom to decide how they spend their own money.
“When men’s participation in the Fiji labour force market stands at 41.6 per cent compared with women at 75.8 per cent. When Fijian men’s unequal status puts Fiji’s international gender equality rating at 87 out of 187 countries.
“When men’s accessibility to leadership and decision-making roles is so low it is reflected in men only being represented 7.07 per cent on boards and at the highest level in the public service only 19 per cent.
“When 72 per cent of Fijian men in their relationships experience physical, sexual or emotional violence over their lifetime, which is among the highest in the region.
“When such high rates of brutality exist that 15,725 Fijian men each year will suffer injuries from their wife or intimate partners. Breaking down these statistics means that 302 men per week will be injured, of which one man each day will be permanently disabled, 10 men per day are beaten into unconsciousness, 29 men per day have broken ear drums or eye injuries, five men per day have their bones broken with bone fractures, one man per day will be burned, five men per day have internal injuries, three men each day have their teeth smashed in.
“When only 15 per cent of Fijian men experiencing violence from their wife, disclose to the police but the others who don’t report name their reasons as fearing that violence was seen as normal or not serious, fear of retribution or not being believed.
“And finally the men’s crisis centre will happen when 43 per cent of Fijian men have a mindset and a belief that his wife had a good reason to hit him if he had disrespected her family, if she had found out he had been unfaithful, if he had asked her if she had any boyfriends, if he disobeyed her, if he refused to have sex with her or that he didn’t complete his housework to her satisfaction.”
