BE kind, be informed and don’t judge what you cannot see – that’s the message from a husband who didn’t hesitate to give up his kidney when his wife urgently needed a transplant.
Ben Whippy’s calling to advocate for lupus is one he has embraced with passion and commitment. It is a work founded on love, care and respect for his wife Julia Whippy ever since her lupus diagnosis in 2009. That was also the year the couple lost their unborn child as a result of the complications of lupus.
“Caring for my wife since her lupus diagnosis has been tough at times, but it’s also brought us closer,” he said.
“There have been challenges – hospital visits, medications, and seeing her in pain – but I’ve learned to be stronger and more patient.
“It changed our daily life, but it also made me appreciate every moment we have together.”
From Nakabuta, Wainunu, Bua, Mr Whippy said it hadn’t always been easy but the support of family made a difference.
“When I was first told about the possibility of donating a kidney to my wife, I didn’t think twice. I knew I wanted to do everything in my power to help her.
“But when we found out we had incompatible blood groups, it was heartbreaking. It felt like our hopes had been dashed.”
Thankfully, he said, doctors in India explained that incompatible transplants were possible. “That gave us a new sense of hope. I didn’t hesitate – if there was a chance to help her, I was ready.”
He said he felt emotionally overwhelmed on finding out the kidney transplant procedure could proceed.
“I felt a mix of emotions – hope, anxiety, and determination. I kept thinking about her future, our future, and how this surgery could change everything for the better.
“During the procedure and the days after, I stayed focussed on the outcome: her getting better. I trusted the doctors completely and stayed positive throughout. What surprised me most was how smooth everything went.”
Mr Whippy said the experience had only brought them closer as husband and wife.
“It reminded me how strong love can be. I’m grateful to the medical team who guided us through the process with such care and expertise.
“I hope more people learn about the possibilities of incompatible transplants – there is often more hope than you think. And to anyone considering donation: it’s a gift that can change a life, and you might be amazed at how quickly and fully you can recover.”
Within five days of the transplant, Mr Whippy said he was discharged from the hospital and recovered quickly without complications.
He said this was a reflection of the care he received and how well the procedure went.
“If you have the opportunity to save someone you love, don’t hesitate. Medical science has come so far, and what once seemed impossible can now be done safely and successfully.
“Being a living donor is a profound act of love, and while it does come with some sacrifice, the reward of seeing your loved one thrive is priceless.”
Following his wife’s diagnosis with lupus, Mr Whippy became involved in raising awareness of the disease and became the first chair of the Lupus Foundation of Fiji board.
“Learning about lupus has opened my eyes to how invisible and misunderstood chronic illnesses can be. It’s made me more empathetic – not just toward my wife, but toward others who may be quietly struggling with health issues.
“I’ve become more patient, more aware, and more willing to speak up about the importance of support and understanding in workplaces and social settings. It’s taught me not to judge anyone’s situation at first glance and to always offer kindness.
“People with lupus are incredibly strong, and they need our support and understanding.”
