BEACHCOMBER heard this story from a friend who received continuous calls from people mistaking him for someone else.
F : Hello.
Caller: Good morning Sir. I am told you are an expert in kutu ni tana (bed bugs)? Is that right?
(The voice is the same as the one who made a wrong number call previously and asked for a taxi to go to 21 Saqamua Rd.)
F : Yes. How can I help you?
Caller: I want you to do one spray in my house.
F : Where is your house?
Caller: I live in Ba.
F: Why can’t you find a pest controller in Ba?
Caller: No brother, I was drinking grog in the Lautoka market and Joe Fong told me you are the best.
Caller: (carries on) The chemical, do you dilute it or spray concentrate?
F: It has to be diluted.
Caller: Is it harmful to humans?
F: No, only if you are a kutu ni tana.
Caller: Bro, I know how these pests come to people’s homes. You get visitors and they are on their clothes. When they move around your house, they fall and soon breed and your house is infested. I was thinking, if I can get all my visitors to be sprayed before they enter my house.
F: Stifling a laugh wondering if this was a joke or for real.
F: What if your visitors shake their clothes before they enter?
Caller: Bro, you know this kutu ni tana can hide in various places on the human body. I will be in Lautoka at 11am this morning and will find your home.
F: OK sure.
Caller: Ok moce kutu ni tana levu.
—CLICK—
F:I felt as if 1000 kutu ni tana just crawled all over me.
