HE battled with anger issues in his childhood, thinking it was normal for someone his age.
There were a lot of things that stressed him out, resulting in lack of sleep and loss of appetite to name a few.
Nothing much changed when he grew up into a young man. He started taking alcohol and drugs to relax his mind and used this as a way to cope with his stressors.
He shared his experience with Empower Pacific, which included being intoxicated and assaulting his family members and wife.
A few weeks ago, he realised that things were unusual and he voluntarily admitted himself in the Stress Ward at a divisional hospital.
That was the turning point in his life. He came into contact with a counsellor from Empower Pacific.
This is the story of a 30-year-old man from a farming community in the Northern Division.
During his voluntary hospital admission, the medical team referred him to Empower Pacific for counselling support.
In moving forward and to address his issues, he committed himself to the counselling sessions because he wanted a way out of the things affecting his state of mind.
The man, whom we shall call ‘client’, is married to a foreigner who visits him now and then for a few month’s stay.
Being the eldest child in his family, the client was obligated to look after the family’s farm.
The client randomly meets up with his friends to have a few drinks, smoke and relax.
He said during his years of growing up, he noticed he had anger issues, but thought it was something normal.
He got married to a foreigner a few years ago, but nothing really changed after marriage as far as his state of mind was concerned.
“I assaulted my father and had continuous arguments with my wife, resulting in me slapping her. I was also very abusive towards my friends during drinking,” he said.
“I was so stressed and angry during my wife’s last visit that I told her to leave and return to her home.
“I started having sleepless nights, loss of appetite and was stressed out about a lot of things.
“Unfortunately, this feeling of anger and stress controlled my mind. It affected my thinking pattern, I saw things differently and even lost the respect and trust towards my family.”
The client said he had no regrets in seeking medical intervention because it cleared the pathway for him to access counselling services provided by Empower Pacific.
“I feel that someone has heard me and this has motivated me to refrain from drugs, alcohol and do things differently.”
He said these things included achieving his goals, making the positive changes that he wanted in his life, respecting others, valuing relationships, and having proper care and support.
He has also learned that drugs, alcohol and resorting to domestic violence provided no solutions.
The client then self-reflected and identified the causes of his anger and stress, and most of all the importance of maintaining mental and physical health.
He said counselling had brought about positive changes to his mental health.
“Through counselling, I was able to get help and identify ways to deal with my anger. It helped me to identify my priorities.
“And honestly, I have also requested my wife not to come to Fiji until I deal with my behaviour.
“I have also refrained from the use of drugs and my goal is to work towards my good health and wellbeing.”
Empower Pacific Labasa counsellor Paulina Talebula said the client was able to detect the warning signs and access help.
“He was able to recognise his delinquent behaviour and requested for help and showed willingness to change his life,” she said.
Ms Talebula said changes in the client’s mental health after counselling sessions had resulted in him getting a job while still looking after his family’s farm.
Being an NGO focusing on providing counselling and social work services, Empower Pacific has a long-term partnership with the Ministry of Health & Medical Services, which is partly supported by the ministry and the Fiji Facility Support Program.
The partnership looks at a collaborative approach in providing holistic care to people for mental health and psychosocial well-being.
It is through this partnership that identified patients are referred to the NGO by doctors for counselling support.
People facing mental health problems can call our 24/7 toll-free counselling helpline 5626, which is supported by the New Zealand Ministry of Foreign Affairs & Trade, and talk to our qualified counsellors and social workers who are always ready to help you.
• AVINESH GOPAL is Empower Pacific’s media and communications officer based in Lautoka
