Standing before the mirror, Helen plucked at her chin hairs, sweating profusely through the moisturiser she had just put on her face and arms.
“I put on moisturiser, then I’m sweating like a pig,” said Helen.
“But the next day, I’m flaky like a lolo bun,” she laughs, referring to the speed at which her skin goes from oily to dry.
Apart from the skin issues, there’s also the weight, bloating, thickening around the middle and the facial fuzz.
“I don’t know when it started exactly, but I remember waking up one day and just feeling off. Like, my body wasn’t mine anymore.”
Despite eating relatively well, staying active, and keeping busy, Helen said she soon learnt that menopause doesn’t conform to any rules – it shows up in its own time, and in its own way.
“For me, it was slow, not one big event. Just little changes that added up. You don’t notice until you catch yourself in a photo and think: is that me?
“The thing people don’t get is – you’re still you. You still have your humour, your personality, your job.
“But your body is changing without your permission.”
Determined to make the most of her situation, she decided to keep an open mind and try out new products, hoping one would work.
“I’d get all excited, thinking this one might work. Then after a week, same thing – either dry, shiny or itchy.”
In the frustration, however, Helen has found a strange comfort – when she sits with other women her age, the conversations remind her she’s not alone.
“We start laughing about the sweat, the mood swings, the whiskers. That’s how you survive it — talanoa.
“We laugh about it and it feels lighter.”
Empathy and humour, she says, make good menopause teachers for herself and other women surviving the experience, one symptom at a time.
“You learn to be kind to yourself,” says Helen.
“Some days, I just let the moisturiser drip and say, okay girl, let’s be shiny today.”