Former journalist Josefa Nata says he still carries a lot of guilt for his action in the 2000 civilian coup led by George Speight.
Speaking to The Fiji Times online news portal The Lens@177 this week Mr Nata said he was still trying to forgive himself.
“I do carry a lot of guilt, you must remember, this nation almost went down. In fact, there was a lot of destruction,” he said.
He said during a brief two month release in 2013, he saw the impact of the 2000 upheaval.
“I was driving around town and I told myself, what have we done? What have we done?
“When you are engaged in foolishness, you will ask anybody who’s been in prison, you don’t tend to think about the consequences.”
Mr Nata said while being incarcerated for the past 23 years, his new found freedom was an opportunity for repentance and spiritual growth.
“But at a deeper, profound spiritual level I would say ‘that time was probably the most profitable time in my life’.
“I’ve lost friends, but I gained something more beautiful than that, I found myself.”
Mr Nata said since his release last December, he was involved in charitable work in setting up a community based rehabilitation farm for ex-offenders, early release prisoners and children living on the streets.
“I’ve been spending the weekend talking to them and explaining to them whether they be willing to give an opportunity to try and make something out of their life.
“For me, it’s my penance for my sins and perhaps atonement for the errors of my past because there was a lot of hurt. There was a lot of pain so I thought it was the right thing to do.
“If you look at what is happening now with the ex-prime minister (Bainimarama) who’s probably reflecting and probably thinks that, nobody thinks about the consequences about going to prison.
“For me 23 years is a long time, I was not aware of things that I should be doing – in that sense it’s not worth going to prison.”