Saturday, July 05, 2008
Our head of government proved he does not forget or snub childhood friends.
On an official trip to the West, he made a detour to one of the sugar city's suburbs, more popular for its notoriety than anything else.
Imagine his entourage's surprise when he pulled up outside one of the homes and made them wait.
And they waited until his blast from the past, a taxi driver, came cruising home after being alerted by the missus who herself was overwhelmed by the surprise visit.
Oilei ... talk about misfire.
The taxi driver's son-in-law was kicking himself when he found out about the drive-by.
A journo, poor guy, had travelled all the way to Natadola to cover the top gun's tour of a tourism project but was kept at arm's length all day long.
He could've had a heart to heart and a flex of muscles had he just stuck around the old man.
Still on the tour of duty Khas Kabere was wondering whether it was typo error or deliberate. The itinerary for today says lunch would be hosted by a prominent Ba businessman.
Apparently he and his directors are not in the country.
An impersonator in our midst?
Friday, July 04, 2008
STUDENTS in a major government school in Suva are stealing major items such as mobile phones from fellow students.
They even offer rewards if the items are found again.
By now, the rewards and the items may have chalked up a fine figure.
Son was asked to form a sentence using the word circumstance. So he wrote: "Please accept my circumstance."
Same person, different day. Write down the meaning of tropical and make a sentence using the word. Meaning: tasty.
Sentence: "This orange juice tastes tropical."
THE director of one bus company ended up having the last laugh after yesterday's short and untimely bus strike.
He was true in saying that the action taken by the authority governing the buses was taken in a haste, a commotion that could have been solved through dialouge with the interim regime.
When he asked what he thought of the strike action, he laughed it off saying "What happened?" referring to the buses hitting the roads again in an hour.
He knew it wasn't going to last!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
The Ministry of Health seems to be at the forefront of the anti tobacco campaigns with a large sign at the main entrance to the hospital. A taxi driver told Davui look at the sign and then look at the black smoke coming from the chimney behind it.
Has NLTB lost track of its role? Wasn't NLTB set up to represent the landowners' plight? Not in the north, where it seems to represent the government departments, leaving the landowners on their own.
Davui called a State lawyer and asked for a case regarding a church pastor. The lawyer responded: "Which pastor because we have so many cases against church pastors and I just don't know whether to say Amen or hallelujah!
Davui asked Miss Six about her mid-year exam timetable to which she said: "I don't know. You should know."
Youths attending a workshop in Lautoka were asked why August was an important month for youths.
Response Hibiscus.
The youths leaders are oblivious to the fact that it is World Youth Day despite the pamphlets in front of them.
That's clearly shows how alert the youths of Fiji are.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
A GROUP of men from a village on Gau Island came to the capital and got their loan. Gau woman in Suva rang the house they were in at Nasese and told them the Lomaiviti netball team's gunu sede was to be held there. The men, with their pockets full, bathed, shaved and wore their best and prepared the vakatunuloa and yaqona stuff. Shortly, a taxi arrived and out came a woman, who was their tavale, and four qauri. The men asked "where's the women" and were told "in the second taxi" which arrived with five qauri. It was a gunu sede of men and only one woman but they raised $200-plus. The woman was cursed all night.
So much for the Golden Arches ... the global fast-food chain is promoting its "double chicken burger". Only problem the 'double chicken burger' comes wrapped and labeled as a double cheese burger. Staff then take a felt pen and mark a 'X' on the label. Guess hard times must be hitting home there too.
Funny how gossip comes back to haunt you. A woman was telling a friend about another woman's cheating boyfriend without realising the woman in question was standing beside her. No need to say the woman and her friend went into hiding for the rest of the morning.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
BELIEVE this or not ... if you thought the People's Charter being proposed and lobbied about by the interim regime was created, at the most, one year ago, then think again.
A Rastafarian has revealed that the contents of the Fiji charter is really more than 40 years old. He says the Fiji charter is a carbon copy of the charter which the former emperor of Ethiopia, Haile Selassie I, gave to his people in 1963 as a guideline. So, we could be copying from the Ethiopian way of life instead of an original charter. But only Rastafarians will know.
HOW about this do you know what the Pope told Commodore Bainimarama when they met in Rome last month? Inside information has it that the Pope said to the commander, as God said to Moses from the burning bush "Set my people free."
WITH all the talk about the Fiji sevens coach, all callers on a radio talkback show at the weekend wants the maestro to be coach. They place the honchos at Rugby House in a tight spot because now, if they do not appoint the logical and people's choice, someone just might do something to the old wooden structure at Gordon Street because the last time, someone went there and demanded to see the chief but they gave him excuses to put him off.
Monday, June 30, 2008
THE crowd at the soccer crazy town were getting impatient as the crowning of the queens did not get under way until 9pm because the chief guest had arrived late. Guess who the chief guest was?
TOILETS at a middle-class watering hole may as well have been out of order as some booths had either no water to flush, or no toilet paper. In marched a senior executive who called for decorum among the noisy birds that had gathered for a chance to relieve themselves.
Davui was shocked to see the bouncer of a prominent Suva night club dozing off to sleep while guarding the door. He was on a chair unaware of people staring at him with some even entering easily. Aren't the bouncers supposed to be the most alert person at nightclubs?
Aren't banners about certain events supposed to be informative? Not the case for the Yellow Ribbon banner hanging near the bus stand because all it shows is who the chief guest is and the venue of the event. A bit hard for those in the dark about this event to find out what it's all about.
Davui read the sign BBQ Chicken in front of a 7 2 7 Bar. But when he went in to buy some BBQ Chicken, Davui found out it was a watering hole and no food was sold. So much for having the correct sign outside the pub, or just a case of false advertisement.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Davui has been texting best friend for the past one week but is upset that the friend did not reply to any of the text messages.
Davui called the number and blasted the friend for not keeping in touch without even letting the person speak.
When Davui ended her five-minute blasting, she found out that she had been texting the wrong number.
A reporter calls up a senior civil servant for a comment on a Cabinet decision.
Senior civil servant: "We don't rely on newspapers to tell us what came out of Cabinet."
Reporter: "But we have the Cabinet paper to prove it's been endorsed."
Senior civil servant: "Yeah it's probably on its way to us."
Reporter: "You mean Cabinet trusts us more to send it to us first even though you prepared the Cabinet paper?"
Senior civil servant slams phone down.
Extra-mural prisoners can be seen selling coconuts to the public and even to police officers who are working their hours at a police station in Nasinu.
Davui checked his watched twice before attending an important meeting but was late. Davui checked his watch the next day but was late again for another meeting. It took some time for Davui to realise that even his watch can stop working.